 New England's Oldest Gay & Lesbian Publication |
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Hey Blabby, I recently discovered a really good friend of mine is bisexual, and not the true lesbian I always thought that she was. I am perplexed and now don't feel as close to her as I once had. At 35, she recently had sex with a guy for the first time and said she enjoyed it. I want to call her hypocritical and tell her how angry and not fair she is being to her lesbian sisters. I have never had sex with a penis and the idea makes me sick. I always feel that people who term themselves bisexuals hide behind a wall that allows them to blend into the mainstream. Should I confront my friend? Or are we all attracted to whatever that moves? Up in arms, Dearest Shelly, You and your friend are two distinctly different people. What is right for you may or may not be right for her. There are truly bi-sexual people in this world. They are not hiding behind anything. They simply enjoy having sex. It doesn't matter with whom. In fact more and more young people today are categorized this way. They just don't care. If I were in your shoes I wouldn't be upset about the fact that she had sex with a penis, or that she liked it. What's more important is where you now fit into the equation. Ask her that!! See no problems with having sex with a Penis, Dear Blabby, Is there such thing as a 'gay gene'? So many people are still debating the nature vs. nurture fight? I think that it is biological. I knew from a young age that my sexual desire was towards the same sex. It is scary to think that this whole 'gay gene' theory could fall into the hands of ignorant and homophobic people and they would try to create a 'cure' and the baby could be fixed in the womb. I am very fearful of that day. Do you think it is based on innate attraction or how we are raised by our families? Reading too much, Dear Charlie, I too have known from a young age that I was attracted to boys rather than girls. I absolutely think that it is inherent and not a choice or cultural issue. How would you explain two brothers raised in the same family, same values, same environment, where one is gay the other is not? I think that there is research going on that identifies that gene in us that makes us gay. I too hope that we are strong enough to prevent any type of cloning or anti-gay gene pooling. After all, it's not everyone who is lucky enough to be gay. Imagine having to dress like those people, or act the way that they do. How awful. One in ten. We are the lucky ones. Don't ever forget it!! Gay, Happy and loving every second. Dear Blabby, My boyfriend is a jock who is very involved with athletics. He is a coach in some sports and an official in others. He really enjoys his involvement and I would never ask him to stop. My problem is that he is not out at all, and therefore is afraid to take me to games with him for fear that someone will figure out that he is gay. I want to be a part of his life. His total life. Not just at home or on weekends, but in everything thing that he is a part of on a day to day basis. I've asked him several times to take me to his games but he always has an excuse. What can I do to convince him that he should allow me to go? AZ (no town please) Dear AZ, There are a lot of factors at play here. First, your boyfriend should come to grips with his sexuality. There are tons of jocks out there that are gay and who don't care if anyone knows. It sounds like your BF might also be an educator, so that may be an issue. Secondly, unless you are a real flamer, why can't you just accompany him to a game as a friend? Better yet, why not take along another guy with you so that it does not appear that you and he are there together? Tell your BF to get a grip, and get with the program. Besides, almost everyone knows he's gay anyway!! Athletic and Gay, Send questions to Uncle Blabby, c/o Metroline, 495 Farmington Avenue, Hartford, CT 06105 or e-mail keepintouch@metroline-online.com. |
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